Stuck On Repeat (Part 5: Marcus)
INT. LARS KITCHEN - DAY
(Lars standing at his stove stirring a giant pot. He turns to the camera.)
Last up was Markus. The poster boy of the group. His smouldering good looks could melt a chocolate bar from across the room. Before he appeared on the scene, the phrase heart throb had only been used to describe a mild cardiac condition. It was said his voice was beautiful. It could mend shattered glass and break hearts at the same time. The others resented his talent and good looks, but they also knew they were nothing without him. It came as no surprise to anyone that he became even bigger after Four More. Many had long thought that the band was holding him back but no one could have predicted just what he would do next. I’ll let him tell the story.
INT. MARKUS HOME - DAY
We see a picture of a young Markus in his days in the band. The picture melts into modern day. Markus still looks exactly the same not having aged a day. He is sitting on an luxurious couch in a nicely furnished house. He is very well dressed and it is evident he’s not short of a few dollars.
After the band broke up, I had countless offers from record labels wanting me to sign a deal. But I needed time to adjust, time to think. I had to get away from the prying eyes of the media, so I decided to move back home to help out in the family bakery. Really just to take my mind off it all. It went well for a while but unfortunately, my special brand of baked goods didn’t go over well with the general public.
INT. BAKERY SHOP - DAY
Markus handing a little girl a cookie. She runs outside to her mother who is horrified to see that the cake looks like a giant member.
INT. MARKUS HOME - DAY
Having always been known for my style and trend setting, I thought that maybe that’s where my future lay. In the fashion world.
(We see a few pictures of Markus dressed in different awful concoctions of 80’s fashion.)
As I’m sure you already know, I was chief designer in the hugely successful underwear line “Cup and Balls”. You’re probably even wearing a pair right now. If you’re not, then you’re probably not wearing any underwear at all.
Then you had a brief stint in the animal fashion world? Designing clothes for pets.
No, they were animal accessories. The animal clothes market was already saturated with all kinds of terrible shit. I thought to myself, A zebra can’t change his strips but there’s no reason he can’t accessorise. I can’t really talk too much about it due to pending legal proceedings. But let me say just one thing. Those monkeys had their nuts shaved long before I ever got my hands on them.
INT. BIG TOMS OFFICE - DAY
We see Big Tom sitting interview style.
I wasn’t always in the entertainment industry you know. I used to service vacuum cleaners.
INT. BEDROOM - DAY
We see a woman in her bathrobe vacuuming her floor. Smoke comes from the vacuum. She gives it a kick with a frustrated look on her face. We then see the phone book’s yellow pages open up. Her finger scrolls down along the list. It stops at “Big Tom’s Vacuum Repair”. A old rotary phone turns. We hear a door bell. She opens the door. There stands a young Big Tom wearing a white jump suit, shirt buttons open, hairy chest, gold medallion. We hear Big Tom say in his voice.
I hear you’ve got a problem with your suction.
(The woman does an over exaggerated laugh.)
Why yes I do. Right this way.
(She leads him into the next room. Within we hear a squeaking noise. We then hear banging and pounding, then the sound of an angle grinder. Suddenly a sheep runs out the door. Tom comes out holding the Vacuum and the filter. He is followed by the woman who has a concerned look on her face.
It was just your filter. It was full of dust. You need to clean it now and then.
Oh thanks Big Tom. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Would you like a cup of tea?
INT. KITCHEN - DAY
The woman leads Tom into the kitchen where she starts to make him some tea. He takes a seat at the table and smiles.
BIG TOM (V.O.)
After I’d cleaned her filter, I sat down for a cup of tea with her family. They say inspiration can strike at any time. There was something in the air that day. An electricity. It was just one of those perfect moments where everything falls into place.
(We see Big Tom sitting down drinking his cup of tea. He watches a kid drawing something with his crayon. He looks across to see the mother peeling a carrot. He then turns to the father, tapping a pen off a mug. The noise of all three, start to form a musical, rhythmic sound. As he looks around at each of them, it starts to form a coherent tune. We then hear drums join in with the song. Tom looks up to see a drum kit with a drummer playing away. The drummer smiles at him and gives him a wink and nod. We then hear a base guitar join in. Tom turns around to see a base guitarist with a huge afro playing funk.
INT BIG TOMS OFFICE - DAY
It was at that moment that I knew. I knew that I wanted to form a four piece boy band and take them to the top.
Wait. I’m sorry, what? Where did the drummer and guitarist come from?
To be honest Lars, I don’t really know. It was 1985. I was pretty blasted on coke most of the time. Come to think of it, I’m not even sure I was a vacuum repair man.
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