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    Recent College Graduate Yet To Receive Job Offer Despite Sending Out Four Resumes

    A recent college graduate is said to be left devastated after receiving not a single call back despite emailing his resume to four different companies. "When I left college, I thought I would walk into a job with a starting salary of at least 40k plus benefits" said Alex, 22.

    "I honestly thought they would just come find me, but then a mate informed me that I actually had to apply. I sent my resume to four different companies and not even one has called me back to offer me a job. I even sent a cover letter outlining my years of schooling. What more can I do?"

    "My Dad said I should call up some of the companies or actually go in and talk to someone, but he doesn't know how the modern world works. Also, that would just be embarrassing for all concerned. I've talked to few people I went to college with and they are having the same issue. I really don't understand it."

    Alex is not alone in his struggle to find a cushy number. Others graduates have similar stories. Weeks after completing their degrees in "Sociology" or "Celtic studies" and not a single job offer has arrived from Facebook or Google. Understandably, most refuse to lower their expectations and have taken to Twitter to express their dismay with hashtag #ShowMeTheMoney not even close to trending.

    Others have blamed their woes on sex cannibal Harvey Weinstein. "I don't how he's involved, but he must be the reason I haven't been offered a fulfilling highly paid job yet" said one dismayed twenty something year old.

    Mr. Weinstein has refused to comment on the matter but did persist on asking me to wash his back.

    Kayley, 21, was offered a position but had to turn it down. "I went to see the office and there were no sleep pods or free food. The lighting was really dim and wouldn't work with my favourite Instagram filter. So realistically, it was a no from me very early on. They offered me of a junior position and frankly, I was insulted. I may have considered working for them if they had offered me a management position, but they kept saying something about lack of any real experience. How ridiculous. I think one of them even laughed at me when I mentioned a company car. What a dick. I couldn't possibly achieve self-actualization without a company car."

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    Posted 9 months ago.

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