Stuck On Repeat (Part 6 )
INT. CONVENTION CENTRE - DAY
(We see Lance sitting at his table, arms crossed and frustrated looking. No one is coming anywhere near him. In the background we can see someone helping Brent Spiner pick up his table and set it up again. He turns to Kevin who smiles.)
I’m not sure what happened today. I mean, normally I’d have a line up out the door. It’s not like my many fans are interested in seeing the other nobodies here.(Beat) Not, not that I’m a nobody, I just mean that I actually achieved something with my career. Honestly, take that guy for example. What has he ever done?
(Lance gestures across the hall to the crowd in front of him. We see a crowd of people part and there sits a smiling Malcolm McDowell signing autographs for his many adoring fans.)
That’s Malcolm McDowell. He’s been in over 200 movies spread over four decades. Some of them were even good.
Yeah, but what has he done lately? Kevin looks at his phone for info.
According to this, he’s actually making a movie right now.
(We pull out to see an entire film crew surrounding Malcolm. We hear a director shouting cut and make up lady runs over to touch up Malcolm’s make up.)
Go get me a coffee.
Yes Lance. (Kevin runs off in a panic screaming.) Does anyone know where I can get some coffee? Anyone?
(Lance looks back over at Malcolm who is reading a paper while getting his make up done. Malcolm looks up and sees Lance staring at him. Lance sits up quickly, smiles and begins to wave at Malcolm who is still staring at him. Malcolm begins to wave back with a smile. He then turns his hand and gives Lance the middle finger while still smiling. Lance slowly stops waving and turns away embarrassed. He turns to camera.)
I don’t think he saw me.
INT. SCHOOL HALL - DAY
(Corey on stage. He is now in full swing into his motivational performance. We see that the room is still pretty much empty.)
I know why you are all here today. I know what it is to be down. To feel like there is nothing left for you. Like the world just takes and never gives. You feel like a loser and waste of space and oxygen.
(Corey now focusing clearly on one slovenly looking man.)
Oxygen that beautiful people could be using. I know what it is to feel alone. And looking at you, I can tell that you are very, very alone. No one loves you, no one cares about you. I could probably walk up to you in the street and vomit right in your face and you would probably thank me. But I think you are more than that. I think you are special. I think you are amazing and have the power within you to become more than you are.
(We hear a rustling noise, which is starting to disrupt Corey’s speech. He looks over annoyed at the same man from earlier who is trying to open a bag of chips.)
I believe that you control you own destiny. Don’t let.... Oh for fuck sake! Do you think you could stop shovelling shit into your fat face for 10 fucking seconds? People have come out to hear me speak, not to hear you hoover up a family pack of Doritos. Now put them down and be quiet or I’ll have to ask you to leave.
I’m sorry. I haven’t eaten since lunch. I'm starving. I can share them with the group if you like. The obese man from earlier who is sitting near him, gets excited and starts to make his way towards him.
Sit down fat man.
(The man sits down quickly in a panic and waits for Corey to continue.)
Now as I was saying, you control your own destiny. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do.
INT. MARKUS HOME - DAY
What was that defining moment that brought you back and made you the star you are today?
Well as you know, music was always a huge part of my life. Fashion and baking were just stop gap’s. I was always going to come back to it one way or another but I didn’t expect it to happen the way it did.
INT. COUNTRY BAR - NIGHT
We are inside a busy country music bar. Wooden furniture, rough crowd, stetsons and handle bar moustaches being the norm. We see Markus walking into the bar, dressed very differently to all the others. He is getting strange looks.
MARKUS I (V.O.)
I was deep in the heart of cow country visiting my uncle Ed in the hospital. There were complications with his moustache implants and he was being kept in under observation. I never liked hospitals much so I snuck across the road for a drink. I didn’t want to draw too much attention to myself so I ordered a daiquiri instead of my usual strawberry daiquiri.
(The barman gives him a disgusted look. He walks off and comes back a few moments later with a huge empty cocktail glass with the works sticking out. Instead of making the daiquiri, the barman opens a bottle of beer and pours it into the glass, all the time looking at Markus like he is about to kill him. Markus tries to drink it but can’t get to it due to all the umbrella’s and fruit around the glass. The crowd starts to cheer as we now see a cowboy walk on stage with a guitar. The band’s name on a banner “Bjorn and the Borgs” is now seen. Markus perks up and takes interest in the band now appearing on stage. The guitarist (Bjorn) speaks into the microphone.
I’m sorry guys, but our singer has come down with the flu. I’m afraid we won’t be able to play tonight.
(Collective boo’s erupt. Then one voice is clearly heard.)
A single bottle of beer flies across the room hitting Bjorn on the head. It smashes but he doesn’t fall.
BJORN Hey, who threw that?
(Another bottle flies and hits Bjorn again. He looks unfazed.)
Ok then, one of you come up here and sing.
I don’t know what it was that made me do it but I knew that was my moment. Lady music had called out to me once again. She said Markus, it’s times to sing. It's time to sing country.
I’ll do it.
(Collective gasps as the crowd parts. A sheep ba's)
Come up here young man. What’s your name?
Do you know many country songs Markus?
Don’t worry about me, you just try and keep up.
(Bjorn gives him a concerned look and nods over at the drummer. The crowd is silent. Markus starts singing in a deep country drawl.)
I shot my wife, for shooting my dog. Drove off in my truck, in the back was my hog.
(The band kicks in with some music.)
Came back to the house, to bury the dead. Dug a hole for my dog, threw my wife in the shed.
(The crowd erupts cheering.)
MARKUS (CONT’D) Everybody now! I shot my wife, for shooting my dog. (The crowd joins in.) Drove off in my truck, In the back
was my hog.
Bjorn joins him at the same microphone. They sing with their faces pressed together, looking all too comfortable in the pose. The crowd starts to look confused and worried.
INT. MARKUS HOME - DAY Markus Interview
It was as simple as that. Some people would call it fate, but I believe that it was meant to happen. A year later we were picking up our first of six Grammys. And God knows how many country music awards. I had never thought about country music before, but the complexities of each song are incredible. There is so much involved. You have to consider your wife, your dog and your truck in every song. It’s not as easy as you would think.
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