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    Wife Calls Husbands Name From Other Room Immediately Starting Unnecessary Row

    Passed down from mother to daughter through the generations, modern woman has the ability to call a man’s name from another room and immediately fill him with fear. His mind frantically scanning for what he could have done. For what could be in the other room that she needs him to see so urgently. He replies timidly at first, “What?”. To which she replies, “Come here”. The dance has now begun. The man, comfortable on the couch and the woman in a distant room. Like a well-played game of chess, the game is about to begin.

    The man already a little on edge after hearing his name called from a distant unknown room, replies with, “Why?” This is his first move, his first play. A pawn on the chess board sure to be sacrificed at a later stage. There is a silence as the woman considers what piece to play next. “Come here”, she replies with no explanation as to why. This lack of explanation is enough to upset the couch comfy man. He wants to cut off all contact, unmute the tv and get back to his episode of The A Team but he can’t. His interest has been peaked.

    He plays his next card, moves his next piece. This time in a louder, slightly more aggravated voice he shouts, “What do you want?” The ears of the woman have picked up on the change of voice intonation. He’s upset and she knows it. She shuffles through the deck and decides to play her most deadly card. The silence card. She waits, like a lioness stalking her prey. She will wait as long as is needed.

    The man then shouts in an even louder voice, “What do you want?” A rookie error, he has played his hand too early, moved his piece when it wasn’t his turn and blown his load early all over his brand, new chinos. He doesn’t know it yet, but he has already lost.

    She knows she has won but decides to play the game anyway. “Come here”, she says in a lower tone. Just loud enough for him to hear it, but also low enough for him to doubt he heard it. His descent into madness has begun. Everything in him wants to flip over the chess board and run out of the room sulking but he makes one last play, one last desperate attempt to not move from the couch. “What the fuck do you want?”, he roars.

    GAME OVER. He has used a swear word. The last move of a desperate man. She has won and decides to hammer in the final nail. “Did you just swear at me?”, she says with enough annoyance to let him know he’s done wrong. Somehow he’s gone from 80’s TV to having to apologize to his woman. How did he get here? How did it come to this? If he gets off his ass now and goes to see what she wants, then maybe he can get out of the hole he has brilliantly dug himself.

    He jumps to his feet and walks quickly in a desperate attempt at damage limitation. He arrives in to the bedroom. His worst fears are realized. His heart rate increases and the child inside him wants to run away crying, but he sucks it up because he has no option and he is a man. He walks over looking at his feet. He doesn’t want to make eye contact in case he catches sight of the gates of hell in the depths of her eyes. “You take that end, I’ll take this end”, she says. “He reaches out and grabs hold. His life flashes before his eyes.

    Before he knows what happened, he is helping her put the cover over the duvet. Only moments before, he was watching Mister T refuse to get on a plane. Now he is making the bed.

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    Posted 9 months ago.

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