Blessed are those with few followers, for they shall one day be verified.
Blessed are they who use the RIP hashtag, for they shall find comfort in it’s deeply personal connection.
Blessed are those who use social media to look at other people’s stuff but never post any of their own, for one day you shall inherit the web.
Blessed are they who Instagram their food, for we all know they shall be satisfied.
Blessed are those who troll YouTube videos and comment sections, for they shall be trolled eternally after death.
Blessed are those who don’t use Snapchat to send nudes, for they shall one day see everyone else’s.
Blessed are those who seriously use LinkedIn, for they shall one day find a job even though those who do use it heavily already have jobs or probably won’t get one because of LinkedIn.
Blessed are those who post novella-length Facebook statuses about politics and the current state of the world, for they know the true state of righteousness since they tell everyone about it.
Retweet and be glad for your reward shall be a high Klout score.
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