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    Danny And Bang Bang ( Part 4: Someones At The Door )


    Pajo and Bang-Bang are still having their tea when someone knocks on the door.

    (Door knocks)

    PAJO
    Who’s that?

    BANG-BANG
    I don’t know. Sure I can’t see through the door.

    PAJO
    Might be Annie.

    BANG-BANG
    Do you think it might be?
    (Bang-Bang makes his way to the mirror to check himself)

    PAJO
    (Mocking) “Oh Annie, your hairs so pretty.” “Oh Annie, your dress is so pretty.”

    BANG-BANG
    Shut up, I sound nothing like that.
    (Bang-Bang goes to open the door. It is indeed Annie)

    BANG-BANG
    Oh, Annie. I wasn’t expecting you. Will you come in?

    ANNIE
    I won’t Bang-Bang, I was just stopping off to see if you will be going to the Monopoly tonight in O’Sheas.

    BANG-BANG
    Oh definitely, can’t wait. Have been looking forward to it for ages.

    PAJO
    Hey, you said--

    BANG-BANG
    Shut up you.

    ANNIE
    What?

    BANG-BANG
    Oh sorry, not you. Just the dog barking. I was telling him to quiet down.

    PAJO
    Who are you calling a dog? (pause) You’re a dog.

    ANNIE
    Is that Pajo Dooley I hear in there?
    (Bang-Bang opens the door fully to reveal Pajo at the table)

    PAJO
    Hello Annie, how are you today?

    ANNIE
    Good Pajo, how are you?

    PAJO
    Good thanks.

    BANG-BANG
    Good good. We’re all good.

    ANNIE
    Will I see you at O’Sheas for the monopoly Pajo?

    PAJO
    I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I’ll be the one with the top hat and monocle.

    ANNIE
    What?

    PAJO
    You know? Like the monopoly man.

    ANNIE
    Oh right.

    BANG-BANG
    (Under his breath) Idiot.

    ANNIE
    Anyway. I best be on my way. I’ll see you later so.

    BANG-BANG
    Okay so. (Beat) Oh just before you go.

    PAJO
    Here it comes.

    BANG-BANG
    I just wanted to say that your hair is very pretty today.

    ANNIE
    Oh. Thank you, I just had it done the other day.

    BANG-BANG
    And your dress. Is that a new dress?

    ANNIE
    No it’s the same one I’ve had a while now.

    BANG-BANG
    Oh well, its a very pretty dress.

    ANNIE
    Oh, well thank you again.
    (Both stand silently and awkwardly at the door together Bang-Bang nervous and unsure of what to do suddenly shuts the door in her face)

    BANG-BANG
    Well that was nice of her to call round.

    PAJO
    Disgraceful.

    BANG-BANG
    What is?

    PAJO
    Her husband still warm in the ground and you trying to get into her knickers.

    BANG-BANG
    I told you already. Her husband has been dead at least a month now. I’m just there to give her a shoulder to cry on in her hour of need. (Long Pause) How long do think I should wait before I do try get into her knickers though?

    PAJO
    Ah six weeks should do it. It’s long enough to be respectful, but not long enough for another suitor to come along and snatch her up. She inherited a lot of land when her husband passed you know. There’s many a man wouldn’t mind ploughing those fields I tell ya. Although I think it’s more her you’re interested in ploughing.

    BANG-BANG
    Will ya stop. Not everything’s about sex Pajo. There is such thing as love too ya know.

    PAJO
    Ah love is over rated. (Pause) Like Chinese food.

    BANG-BANG
    I don't know. I've had some pretty memorable times in bed with a sweet and sour
    chicken.

    PAJO
    It’s great at the time, but after a while you just feel empty inside and full of regret.

    BANG-BANG
    Are you talking about love or Chinese food?

    PAJO
    Both I suppose.

    BANG-BANG
    Well if you don’t believe in love, why did you get married?

    PAJO
    Because I was sick of cooking me own dinner and cleaning the house.

    BANG-BANG
    So you got married out of laziness?

    PAJO
    Well, I suppose I was a bit lonely too. It’s nice to have a bit of company. Especially when that company cooks and cleans.
    (Bang-Bang takes a biscuit and bites into it.)

    BANG-BANG
    Could you not have brought better biscuits with you? You always bring such awful biscuits.

    PAJO
    Well you always make an awful cup of tea.

    BANG-BANG
    Well go home and make your own tea then and bring these shitty biscuits with you.

    PAJO
    Maybe I will.

    BANG-BANG
    Well go on then.

    PAJO
    I’m going.

    BANG-BANG
    Go then.

    PAJO
    Can I finish me tea first?

    BANG-BANG
    Ah yeah, no use in letting it go to waste.

    PART 5:
    www.mehoop.com/microposts/99

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    Posted 8 months ago.



    Post views: 287
  • Comments

    1. Jeffrey Lebowski

      I have been enjoying all these I must say. Would make a great play.


      Posted 8 months ago