• Me Hoop. Post Anything. About Anything. Blatantly Offensive Material Will Not Be Tolerated

    The Trees (A Novel In Progress) I Only Got 4 Pages Done So Far But Whats Planned Is A Horror Novel With Themes Of Abuse And Native American Mythology. Warning Also Contains Sexual Content.

    She wouldn’t take her eyes off the door; Allen's mother could walk in at any moment. “Don’t worry, nobody else is up right now.” Sasha began to unbutton her yellow shirt; but still she wasn’t fully convinced. She wanted to believe that nothing would go wrong this time. “We’ll hear her before she gets to the door, you’ve heard how creaky those stairs are.” Allen was lucky. As the eldest son of this particular branch of the Mayes family tree he got first pick of the bedrooms when they moved into the house two years ago. Allen had strategically picked the second room on the left; farthest from the stairs and opposite the bathroom, such a room would be perfect for tonight's planned activity and he knew that. “No shit! I can hear your dad from across the street whenever he walks up those rickety ass steps for his nightly piss.” They shared a laugh that they tried (and failed) to hide. Fuck! thought Sasha, what if Matty had heard them. They were quiet for a moment… silence. By sheer luck or will of the gods Mathew was still sound asleep in the first bedroom on the left. Closest to the stairs. Both Allen and Sasha knew from experience that even the sturdiest walls became paper thin in the dead of night when all the inhabitants of a household were supposed to be asleep. Feeling reassured Allen began “Now where were w-” before he could finish his sentence Sasha swiftly rolled over to the left side of the bed closer to him and began kissing his neck. Any concerns of Mrs. Mayes bursting through the door to catch her son in the act with this strange city dweller was pushed aside by adolescent lust. His hands quickly found their way up to her breast while hers began working slowly down to his belt. It was happening, finally Allen would no longer be a shamed member of the V-Card Club. Sasha was in the process of pulling his pants down when her hand brushed against something hard, then she noticed that Allen was already fully attentive. “Ready to go off the bat” she said with a smirk. Tonight very well could be the night. Mathew was asleep and Mr.s Mayes was downstairs asleep on the couch while some long past its prime sitcom played on the living room TV. Most importantly Allen was good to go. Tonight there was no headaches, no big test the next morning, and no impolite little brother staying up late that could interrupt. No excuses. “I always am” he managed to squeak as her grip tightened. Allen’s expression was one of embarrassment, immediately after speaking he silently prayed Sasha wouldn’t correct him. Painfully aware of this (as if she could read his mind) Sasha had decided she needed to act fast and assaulted his mouth with a kiss, then surprised him further with tongue. The wall of confidence was quickly being rebuilt two bricks at a time; it was nearly impossible to focus on his insecurities when a perky redhead had her tongue down his throat and her hand on his cock. When did that happen? Before he could recall she began stroking. Now he had to be careful; having a pistol that sometimes wouldn’t work was bad enough, having one that fired prematurely would be more embarrassing. “Oh there we go..” Allen felt her form a smile “You like that baby?” Sasha was secretly quoting an adult film in which a rather pretty young math teacher gave one of her struggling students extra help. Though Sasha couldn’t find the connection between university level mathematics and hanjobs… Not that it mattered. Allen was at a loss for words. “Y-Yeah please keep going.” To stop Sasha from noticing how red his face had gotten and also in order to avoid any more awkwardness he decided it would be best for him to lay his head back on the pillow and close his eyes. Before he could manage to hide his face something about Sasha’s hand that was wrapped around him caught his attention. Each fingernail was carefully filed to a fine point and painted a vibrant red. The reasons for this were firstly because it matched her skirt and secondly because Sasha thought red was a sexy colour; and to Allen this fact held true. So why was it then that theses bright red finely filed nails felt so.. Wrong. Feelings of dread crept up his abdomen like a spider towards his throat. Thats when he noticed the vein. Running all across this 16 year old girls hand was a thick blue vein hiding just under the skin, skin that was no longer the right colour. Instead of a milky white that matched her common ginger complexion Sasha’s right hand had become a sickly shadowed grey spotted with faded but noticeably big brown blotches. Flesh began to loosen and bunch up around the hand’s bones and tendons like clothes that are two sizes too big. The movement of her knuckles appearing as individual creatures desperately trying to break through their saging barrier. Sasha continued completely unaware of what her boyfriend was bearing witness to as he face was pressed to Allen’s neck. As her hand went up and down, down and up the large blue vein appeared to wiggle and gradually seemed to move on its own independently of the rest of the hand. What was a vein became a blue python struggling to slither about the tendons that more and more began to resemble the fallen branches of a tree. No! Allen thought. He knew that was Sashas arm but what he saw at her wrist was a stump and beyond that a tree, one that was in decay. The snake coiled around the tree and it was the fingernails that once again caught Allen’s eye; they alone remained unchanged. Still a vibrant red and still filed to a point while the rest of her hand was changed? No it was Decayed and… Old. Allen’s entire body was drained of warmth as he let out a gasp; the dread-spider had also tighten its grip and began to choke him.. Sasha looked up hopefully but to her shock was met with a face of utter disturbance. In her confusion she almost didn’t notice that Allen’s pistole had begun to fail him.
    But she did.

    She was looking at him now. “Hey.” Allen tried to regain his composure but given the circumstances there was doubt if he would be able to. Before looking back to the hand all he said was a weak “Sorry”. To his surprise what was wrapped around his dick was a small white hand with only three freckles where the thumb meets the index finger. It was her hand again and for that he was grateful. “Is everything okay?” when he met her gaze all feelings of gratefulness disappeared. It was easy to tell that she was more upset than angry; but god damn was she angry. He had no words. What the hell could he have told her anyway suppose he had some. With his pants still around his ankles Allen jumped out of the bed and wobbled over to where he had thrown his shirt earlier. “You look like a retarded penguin with it’s dick out” what she said was puropsfully insulting but also had enough humor to mask her true intent. Allen having already put the shirt back on was now clumsily pulling up his pants. The sight of him was almost enough to make Sasha giggle, it reminded her of how cute she thought he was; she herself had picked out that black shirt with three white stripes going down the back for him at the mall not even two weeks ago because she thought he would look good in it and to her credit he did. In the end it wasn’t enough to make her giggle. After doing up his zipper and buckling his belt Allen looked to Sasha desperate for words trying to summon them from thin air; but none came. Then she spoke. “So what is it this time? Did I say something wrong?” she was thinking back to her stolen porno line “Or is it something im wearing?”. She stood up and her anger was becoming more apparent than her hurt feelings but she kept going. “Oh maybe it’s that the fucking moon isn’t in the right phase yet? Was that your problem last time too Allen?” he stood silent for a moment “Sash I-” she cut him off. “No wait last time it was because you wanted to be well rested for a test the next day right? Can you even remember what class you said it was for?” Allen stood silent. “Seriously what in the fucking world is it? I’ve been throwing myself at you for months?” He finally spoke up “I’m just not ready”. To say a wave of guilt washed over her wouldn’t be doing it justice a more accurate way would be to describe it as the world’s biggest tidal wave traveling at mach10 on its way to knock Sasha Bell onto her ass. She sat back down what fight there was left in her had now gone; to continue fighting would be to put herself on the same level as those so called douchebags her mother and sister had warned her of years prior; the kind of douchebags that pressure their girfriends into sex befoe they’re comfortable. “What is it then? Allen” tears began to build up in her eyes now “Please tell me what I’m doing wrong”. Now it was Allen’s turn to feel guilty, but more than that he felt ashamed; what the fuck was going on in his head earlier. There was about 20 guys he knew that would have killed to be in his position and Allen bet not one of them would have done what he did.. Or they would have done what he didn’t. He decided to reassure her “Theres nothing you’re doing wrong baby. You’re perfect and so beautiful It's just Me”. It was clear to him she still didn’t get it but to be fair neither did he. “I’m just not ready… sorry”. He was looking down he couldn’t meet her gaze so it was a shock when she grabbed his hands and pulled him onto the bed. There she gave him a kiss followed by a long hug, shortly after they both fell asleep in each others arms.

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    Posted 8 months ago.

    Post views: 211
  • Comments

    1. Boris Johnson

      Well written and I could see a story there and a lot of possibilities with where it could go. The subject matter is probably not my thing but I think those into horror would like it.

      Posted 8 months ago

    1. Boris Johnson

      I suggest you make couple more paragraphs also just to make it easier to read :)

      Posted 8 months ago

    1. Janet

      ok i'm not into horror, but this is edgy, I don't know if it confines you to a format of posting here, but you need to separate paragraphs and dialogue, It was hard to read. I have a good sense of the MC, and you have a good sense of teenagers, and how they think .

      Posted 7 months ago

    1. North_Ontario

      Thank you all for the feedback; really I appreciate it. I copied and pasted it from my google docs so that's why it's just one big block of words without paragraphs or proper spacing (my bad) thanks again for toughing through it.

      Posted 7 months ago

    1. B. Robertson

      It kept me reading–the wall of text was a little off putting but you’ve explained that (sorry for mentioning it again). I like the approach: quite a common situation that I think adolescents encounter and most will be able to relate one way or another.

      In truth, I found the scary hallucination (if indeed it was a hallucination?) slightly cliched, especially for an opening chapter. But please, don’t let my thoughts hinder you. The interaction was good and I would enjoy reading more!

      Posted 7 months ago